A Sad One...

I've been going back and forth about whether to write about this. I know that I'm having a hard time processing it. I didn't sleep at all last night and it hasn't been far from my mind all day today. I know writing about it will help me. But it's sad...very sad. So this is your warning. If you have any issues with super sad stuff or death in general, stop reading now. Because this is pretty graphic.

Yesterday we went to ASU's first playoff game. Great game, lots of fun even though it was freezing and drizzling the whole time. After the game, we go back to the car as usual. We have a couple of friends with us and we are just talking about the game and having a good time. We park in a lot that is way up on a long, steep hill. More like a small mountain. As we're pulling out of our lot, there are a couple of cars stopped in front of us. As we look around, we see an older gentleman lying on the sidewalk. His sons (we assume they were his sons) are around and some student national guard people just happen to be walking by. One quickly starts CPR...the entire breathing/chest compression combo. We're sitting in the car just watching, completely stunned. We can't move. We didn't want to be an audience, but there was no where to go. A crowd begins to gather as more people are walking up the hill to their apartments/parking lots/whatevers. Can you believe more than one family with young children stopped to watch? Through all the horror around, it really struck me that any parent would stop and let their child watch something like that. It seemed as though hours had passed...our car was completely silent. I know we were all praying. Finally an ambulance roared in and paramedics rushed out. They took over CPR and actually seemed to know what they were doing, but it was obvious it wasn't working. Before long, they brought out the defibrillator bag. They shocked the man three times, lying right there on the sidewalk, with his sons looking on. We knew. We could tell. After the third time, they never resumed CPR. They brought out a gurney and put him on it. No sheet to cover him yet, nothing being done, just trying to get out of there. As they lifted the gurney, both of his arms fell off, hanging limp at his sides. That's the image I can't shake. Every time I close my eyes, I see it. I see the looks on the faces of his sons, I see the paramedics shaking their heads. I see the looks of horror on the faces of people passing our car.

I'm having such a hard time processing what I witnessed. I feel almost personally involved, though I don't know who this man was. I don't know who his family is, where he was from, what he did for a living. It doesn't matter. He was a human being and I watched as he slipped away from this Earth. I hope and pray I never witness anything like it ever again.