Truthful Tuesday

Sometimes I don't feel like a grown up. Sometimes I can't believe I'm a wife, let alone a mom. Sometimes it doesn't feel real.

I don't know when it happens, when we grow up. Are we grown when we graduate high school? When we graduate college? Get married? Have kids? I read about this question somewhere else, and it helped me understand that feeling I have deep down that I haven't quite been able to put my finger on. It's that feeling, that nagging doubt, that I am really not a grown up.

Some days I fit that grown up mold perfectly. I cook, clean, read books to little children, kiss boo boos, drive around town, grocery shop, pay bills...all those things grown ups are supposed to do. But other days, I just don't want to face it all. I want to be selfish. I want to lie in bed all day just doing nothing. I don't want to put everyone else first. I want to just deal with me. But I can't. Because I have responsibilities. I guess that's what makes a real grown up...the ability to realize when you're being selfish and moving past it to do whatever it is you need to do. Maybe I am more grown up than I thought. But a day in bed still sounds nice.